Life's Not a Bitch ...

... It's a manwhore

I have dedicated my life to this question since I was 2.

Baby H: Mama, Is life a man or woman?

Mama: La 7bibti .. la hatha wala hatha .. '3abya

ok ok .. i added the last part in .. haha .. but you could sense I was going to be a genius .. I already knew life would screw us over

the minute everything seems great .. you get your period

the minute you ask your baba for your blue pillow that is much needed for your backpain .. he forgets

the minute you think you have your weekend scheduled and it seems like a good time .. you realize that you're making plans for the NEXT weekend and you'll be stuck doing NOTHING this weekend

the minute you have eyes for only one man .. the gorgeous friend confesses he loves you

the minute you have done all your work .. your boss tells you .. we're not working on this anymore

the minute you lose the weight and look super fab in your nicely fitting size 12 (yes .. thats good for me!) suit .. your mum makessssss you get a size 16 cuz "fitting means small" and the store is out of 14s

the minute you feel like putting on your sports shoes to get your ass on the treadmill .. your friend calls you and says we have to go to the new seafood restaurant in town

the minute you think you have found the bed you wanted for your room .. they tell you it costs 7,898 EUROS

the minute you think its great they chose you to go on a business trip to meet potential companies .. they tell you its in sydney (15 hour flight)

the minute you think you put on the right top this morning that perfectly matches your outfit, shoes, bag, 3baya, make up .. the receptionist tells you .. SHO LABSA?? 8AMEE9 NOOM?? (cuz it had some lace at the top)

the minute you think you are having a GREAT hair day under that sheila of yours .. the masri woman at the supermarket decides to take off your sheila .. flatten your gorgeous locks .. bobby pin it down .. and put the sheila back on .. (i dont know the woman)

the minute you actually DONT want to do work but want to pretend to be busy .. your screen freezes on your facebook profile page

the minute you think you're going to get that appointment with the dermatologist that you've needed to get but haven't had the time to book .. the receptionists decide the nearest date you get is next week when you're not in town

the minute you finally grow the balls to ask your boss for a ONE DAY vacation .. your dad tells you its going to be 6 days

the minute you think you have had enough with everything and you need someone to call .. ANYONE .. no one is there

the minute you have erased most of the points in your to-do list and want to take a break by checking facebook or blogger .. your manager passes by and thinks that is all you do

...

..

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by the way .. don't you hate these dots in forwards?

scratch that .. don't you hate forwards?

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..

...

my friends .. what does this remind you of??

MEN! That is why I have finalized my 20 years of research into one theory

Life is a man ..

And in the last year and a half of my blackberry obsession (yes .. if you don't have a blackberry .. you are not worthy in my eyes) .. i have come to realize that blackberrys too are men

why would my blackberry call a certain someone at 3:00 AM for that certain someone to hear that I'm chilling in the lobby at the my hotel in london with all my guys friends? (i assure you .. it was very innocent .. it just sounds soooo '3ala6)

why would my blackberry send a ridiculous picture of my guy friend to a certain someone? (again .. disgustingly innocent mistakes that lead to overdramitcally dramatized situations)

why oh why would my blackberry call my manager on a weekend when i'm having lunch?

Bottom line ladies : Life & Blackberrys are of the male sex .. be careful

So Scared of Getting Older, I'm Only Good at Being Young

So everyday when you wake up, if you're lucky, you have a song that is stuck in your head .. I love those days .. cuz I'm a firm believer in the fact that whatever song you wake up with in your head is going to set the pace for your day .. this is the song that was in mine today .. and its a gorgeous song by John Mayer <3>

enjoy xoxo

No, I'm not colorblind

I know the world is black and white

Try to keep an open mind

But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train

I wanna get off

And go home again

I can't take the speed it's moving in

I know I can't

But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it

Don't want to see my parents go

One generation's length away

From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train

I wanna get off

And go home again

I can't take the speed it's moving in

I know I can't

But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

So scared of getting older

I'm only good at being young

So I play the numbers game

To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man

Said "help me understand"

He said "turn sixty-eight

You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train

Don't for a minute change the place you're in

And don't think I couldn't ever understand

I tried my hand

John, honestly we'll never stop this train

"Once in awhile, when it's good

It'll feel like it should

And they're all still around

And you're still safe and sound

And you don't miss a thing

Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark

Singing

Stop this train

I wanna get off

And go home again

I can't take the speed it's moving in

I know I can

Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BTzNX5OMN4

So I've almost had it with planning this event!! It's .. getting .. RIDICULOUS!!! Walla walla walla .. MAYSWA 3LAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

ana t3abt nafseeyan and i started hating EVERYONE!!

;(

Old Wives Tale

So I know this is going to be an iffy issue and you guys are probably gonna be like, why are you writing about this? But for some reason, I want to discuss tampons

Ever since we were kids ilahal always said that tampons are for "7reem m3arsat basssssss." So I came to terms that once a month for a good week I couldn't go swimming and would have to constantly worry about leaking and have to endure the feeling of downright ickiness *ya .. its a word ..google it* .. so the other day I was looking through my bag that my mum had borrowed and I noticed there were a couple cutie pie tampons that were tinyyyyy ..

They looked so harmless .. and then i started thinking .. "Really?? I can lose my virginity by that??!!" Virginity is not an issue I toy around with though so I put it away so my usual curious self didn't take any unnecessary risks

Throughout university I realized that a few of my friends started using them .. and I am 98% sure (cuz there's always that 2% of unsureness) that they are innocent little girls like myself .. So I asked one of them a few weeks back and she told me that the little cutie pie tampon does not take one's virginity ..

Again .. I was dreadfully curious .. but again .. I don't play around with these things .. but really .. what do you guys think?

Peas on Earth

Hello my muffin cakes!

I am horribly excited! I am in the final stages of planning for my event so I can submit it to the sponsors. The beauty of it: I DID IT ALLLLL ON MY OWN!!

honestly now .. aren't thou proud of thy?

I have a meeting today at 4:30 (that I need to reschedule to 4:45 cuz I realized I finish work at 4:30 .. not 4:15!) with a company that should be able to do everything else I have on my list .. so hoora!

I wanted to ask you guys something .. since this is a fundraising event I naturally thought that I would get people to pay an entry fee .. HOWEVER .. I don't want "just anyone" to come .. that sounds cruel and inhumane .. but really .. i want it to be a high profile, invitation only, networking event .. im not gonna invite queen elizabether and expect her to come .. but i want fashionistas who are in love with fashion and want to try new designers .. i want select boutique managers to come so maybe they could pick up a few designers .. i want world peace .. .. .. .. anyhoooooos so my second idea is to sell crafts from the centre (maybe the kids could make something .. i dont know) .. and then auction off a few pieces from the show .. it obviously wont rake in as much as I had hoped .. but it puts the event out there ..

opinions?

xoxo

gossip girl : p .. i miss my shows : (

PS: I google-imaged "however" and i got very disturbing images : s

Gobama's Closet

So .. I'm not American but I was more than overjoyed at the fact Obama won today .. As I have said before: McCain is a dying man who chose the mother of a whore as his VP .. really .. my eyes teared up thinking how this is going into the history books .. *im even wearing a "Obama in da house" pin today at work*

Next order of business:

Haif's Closet

For all of those who don't know .. I am the creative genius behind Haif's Closet .. *and no .. im not being 5agaga .. im being honest hahah* ..



I have ALWAYSSSSS wanted to be a designer .. why didnt I? Cuz I cant draw! and my parents didnt want me growing up to be a 5aya6a .. but I've always loved putting clothes together and seeing whether it works or doesnt work .. something that you all probably dont know .. i change a gazillion times before i go out .. even if i go out .. theres a big chance im going home to change cuz i dont feel comfortable in what im wearing .. so for all those people who thought my fashion sense is so natural and i "always pull it off" .. SURPRISE!

I started this during summer when I had A LOT of free time on my hand .. i was surprised to see my parents were supporting me in it .. so i started a facebook group and i realized people started ordering most of the shemaghs! i was ecstatic .. the downside is: i do everything by myself .. so when im not bothered to work on it or something .. the orders fall back .. but i've hopped on the wagon again .. after 90% of the summer collection sold .. i decided to come out with a new collection with more options .. not only are there shemaghs now .. but I also started making ponchos, sweaters, hoodies and shirts .. every piece is one of a kind and i will never repeat the exact same g63a .. they might be similar .. but never the same *add crystals here, change the colour there* .. everyone's happy

If you want to see more of my collection join the facebook group .. Also .. join the Speak 2009 group cuz thats the group that refers to the event I'm hecticly planning all by my lonesome

xoxo

*my besty L, who I will refer to now as lenguine, is my gorgeously gorgeous model*

Uwe

I know you all missed me terribly in my 4 days of absence .. (or what is it 5?) .. i've been horribly busy .. its disgusting how busy I've been .. here is a look at what my schedule was like since we last stalked each other:

Thursday: I left work at 5:30 KNOWING i was no where nearrrr done with my task list .. so I gathered my papers and my laptop and got in my car .. I headed to The One Cafe to meet a friend who was feeling really bad .. we chit chatted .. I had my green tea with mint and dashed to the airport to pick up my best girlfriend L .. after i picked her up we went to her house and hung out with her family .. ahh .. the days

Friday: Woke up early and started working on a gift for a 5 year old girl .. lets call her T (who my parents kept describing to me as though she was 30) .. I made her a '3tra from Haif's Closet (my brand) and i tell you .. it was gorgeous .. I didn't want to give it up .. after I made her '3tra and finished off the new season's '3tar, hoodies and sweaters .. i went to the mall to pick up a bracelet for T .. Baba specifically told me and mama to get her something "gold and expensive" .. so naturally me and mama wanted to give T bracelet made of paperclips .. laish inshAllah?? bntk o ana madriiii .. IM THE ONLY GIRL IN THIS FAMILY!! LoL .. so i went to Dior to see what bracelets they had and there were quite a few .. and then i walked into the shoe section and fell in love .. they were simple and black from the front .. and thennnnn .. the ENTIRE heel had crystals .. it was as though and went to heaven .. so of course I bought them .. and a pair of red square glasses I had wanted from London but stupidly bought the blue and beige ones .. as i went to pay i was on the phone .. so i handed the lady my credit card and she whispered to me (awanha tra3y 3ndi mokalama)

Dior Lady: "seven thousand eight hundred fifty seven"
Me: "Umm .. booKs .. I'll call you back .......... WHAT??"
Dior Lady: "the heels cost about 6,400 only"
Me: "Only?"
Dior Lady: (realizing she might be losing this game pulled out what she thought was her joker) "You know .. all the ladies come in and buy this because Haifa Wahby wore it once"
Me: "I'm no whore"
Dior Lady: "Akeed .. a9lan mabitistahal Haifa tlbasooon"
Me: "I still want them"
Dior Lady: "Ehhh .. la2anon kteeeeer 7lween brjlik"

So after I paid i realized that I didnt buy a gift for T .. so I walked back in and told the lady to give me little girl sunglasses .. she gave me the same ones that I had bought but minimized .. adorable!!

Then I went and bought a camera to take to L's place and snap shots of her modelling this season's stuff of Haif's Closet (which I will write about sometime later)

After that .. I rushed home and got into my raga9a costume (which was STUNNINGGG if I may say so myself) and went to my friend's house let's call her Tu .. after we walked around their compound we went back and had gorgeously barbequed meats .. no .. i didnt ruin my diet cuz Friday dinner is free for me :D .. then we went and gossip while we were laying down on their trampoline and by 9:30 I was in bed .. i know .. sad

Saturday: woke up early AGAIN .. went to Spinneys to buy superglue .. came home and finished the card I was making for T .. got ready .. picked up Mama and went to T's 5th birthday .. we had lunch there .. no .. I didn't ruin my diet again .. I get saturday breakfast and lunch free too .. ha ha .. and then I went shopping some more .. I came home .. uploaded all the pictures on Haif's Closet group .. finalized the event's (Speak 2009) proposal and passed the f out ..

Sunday: woke up and was at work by 8:40 (10 mins late) .. after work I went to look at the Emirates Palace ballroom .. almost had a coronary when they told me for 150 people .. its 60,000 for the room reservation .. 16,000 for refreshments .. xx,xxx for canapes .. xx,xxx for you to breath .. xx,xxx,xxx for you to leave .. I told her to draft me a quotation .. went home .. got in a fight with my parents .. had a nervous breakdown about the event .. cried cried cried .. went to sleep

Monday: woke up .. had a talk with my parents .. they assured me everything would work out fine .. went to work .. heard amazing news that will interfere with my prior plans of going to Landan to visit J (i'll explain J! so calm down!) got a list of 732 potential companies .. stayed at work until 10:30 PM .. went to L's .. got waxed .. put a ma6ara on my back cuz it was KILLING me .. was in bed by 11:15 ..

good morning people : )