Spooky Sassing

Happy Halloween everyone!! So growing up in an American school, I got the perks of both sides. I fast Ramadan, celebrate Eid Al Fi6r, dress up for Halloween, have turkey for Thanksgiving, at7ana for Eid Al A'67a, decorate my mini-tree for Christmas, put a lot of though of where I want to celebrate new years, buy gifts for Valentines Day (but im against wearing red or pink or hearts .. cuz thats gay), organize egg-hunts for my younger cousins after hours of egg-painting for Easter .. did I miss a holiday? I dont think so .. those are the only holidays I enjoy .. I know I know .. you dont have to tell me its 7aram o 3nd ilmuslimeen bas 3ndna 3eedain .. I get it .. but I love getting excited about holidays and planning what I'm gonna do and celebrating .. (so shoot me)

So today I wanted to dress up as a tranny-tweety .. Yes .. the little yellow bird as J referred to it. I'm gonna put a huge (obviously made by an Arab, cuz it just looks like a chick) Tweety head and wear a dress .. i know .. clever (>,<) butttt .. thanks to my diet .. that is going well thank you very much .. i am going as raga9a mo7tarama .. what is a raga9a mo7tarama you might ask? its wearing a strechy jalabya that shows my girls (Anna and Nicole) up top and has extremely high slits on both sides .. so since I'm going to my friend's house and this is a more kid's extravaganza .. I decided to wear stockings underneath .. i know i know .. too clever for words (^.^)

I promised I'd update you on my stressful sillybillies:

1) event: i started making my phone calls last week and i'm going to finish my proposal this weekend

2) diet: going really well 7mdilla .. dinner today and breakfast and lunch tomorrow are free meals! :D .. but i reallllllly need to start working out for this process to go faster

3) work: im kicking ass .. im finally being aggressive at work and started working on 5 companies instead of the half i was working on before

so thats all i have time for today .. ill tell you how halloween went!


xoxo

happy trick or treating

Ta da da daaaaaaaaaaa .. Finally my girlfriend Cute Fish decided to enlighten us with her magnifico-darling theories on life .. GirLs .. trust me on this .. if you're depressed right now over a boy who didnt treat you right or you need a helping hand to get out of a relationship that is doing more harm to your confidence/energy/personality/........ read her post!! i cannot urge you enough .. deal with your issues B is the title of it and the rest of her posts are just as entertaining .. Welcome my tinkerbell!!

Also .. this is a long overdue welcome but another one of my friends got sucked into the blogging world .. Dubootii! You'll love her little rants cuz its something we all go through and you will relate in a snap! Her blog is called where do i beggin ..

happy blogging :)

I Love Laham

(yes .. their shirts DO say GODHATESFAGS.COM)

.. I have been blessed with a great family and an amazing group of friends that im madly in love with .. so I really hope this is PMS and not some other fatal disease I'm getting .. but as you can see from my last post .. I'm stressing myself out .. Stressing myself out is making me very depressed .. and when I'm depressed I know the ONLY person in this world that understands me and will put up with me is my best friend .. lets call her Laham .. I'm at a point of my life right now where everything has changed so quickly and I've been pretty emotional about all the changes .. so I decided to write this post about how much i love my best friend ..

Laham and I have been friends since we were in the womb .. at least thats what it feels like .. we've been friends since KG2 .. (refer to the first picture: that was a picture our babas and mamas took on our first day to kindergarten, im the one on the short chubby one on the left and she's the tall slim one on the right) we went to the same school for 13 years and experienced almost everything together .. from the minute we realized we were snobby spoilt arab kids to the infatuation we both had for meat and the disposal process of meat (if u get my drift) .. when boys and girls were exchanging huge toblerones for birthday gifts me and her were exchanging Dior .. her family became mine and mine became hers .. we travelled together .. pigged out together .. worked out together .. cried together .. made fun of each other crying together .. laughed together and were there for each other when we were scheming something naughty .. a friendship like that .. lasts (inshAllah)

so time was up and we were filling out university applications .. she was filling them out for cities half way across where i was gonna be .. we didn't realize that we were actually going to be separated .. it was time that we graduated together .. fate is a funny thing .. at our high school graduation we couldn't choose who to walk in with .. but we were all friends back in high school (if i remember correctly) so we didn't really mind .. when the list came out it was just our luck that we were going to walk in together

university came and it was horrible (for me at least) thinking that i wasn't going to be around my best friend .. we both ignored the fact that there was something called time zones and would call each other to keep us updated .. naturally .. she wasn't informed of every detail of my life and vice versa .. but the minute im about to break down and can't even breath i reach for my phone and dial her number .. im lying .. i dont dial it cuz i obviously dont have a 20 digit number memorized .. but u get the gist of it .. she always gives me honest advice that I can actually do something with .. and its not just the advice .. its pretty much the fact she's always there for me and i try to come up with snazzy advice for her whenever she needs it ..

i love u laham .. scurry home my bear-handed rascal

PS: Everytime i searched best friends or arab girls .. i would get random pictures of a somewhat pornographic nature .. but i was amazed that every search I typed in I would get this picture on the right .. its a sign .. and me being a strong believer in signs decides that u should all witness it ..

Stressed Is Desserts Spelled Backwards

I have been unbelievably stressed out the last few days.. Not because of the amount of work I have .. but because of the amount of thoughts in my head .. I am one of those people that overwhelms herself before she even needs to do something .. so lemme just tell you the things I've been thinking of:

1. how incapable i seem to be at understanding the basics of finance (i am a financial analyst)


2. ive been trying to get STARTED on planning a huge event that will promote awareness of speech disorders and raise money for my mother's speech disorders centre


3. i need to change my room because everytime i walk in it, i get utterly depressed


4. i started my diet and i need to join a gym


5. i hate boys


6. i am bored


7. i have gel on my nails and im trying not to rip off my right pointer finger's one cuz its kinda coming off

ok enough .. so let me go into a little more detail about a few of my thoughts that have been stressing me out

first thing-a-ma-jig: the department's head analyst gives us financial exercises every now and then to keep our financial skills fresh .. so last sunday he gave me my first problem and he said: "This shouldn't take you more than a couple hours, because it's very basic, while the others could take you a few weeks at a time." That was last week. Am I done? No! Why? Because I never paid attention in any of my finance courses (I graduated with a degree in Finance/Economics .. (>_<) but that doesnt mean i know anything in finance!!) So here I am .. sitting all alone .. not knowing how to get NPV=0 to get my IRR ..

second thing-a-ma-jig: i want to plan the mother of all events to promote my mother's speech and language disorders centre, raise awareness of the increasing problem of speech impediments in the gulf, give gulf-based designers the opportunity to showcase their designs and gather the UAE's most charitable and fashioned society .. now .. WHERE DO I START?? i broke down the event into approximately 15 different major tasks that could be put into 8 dedicated teams .. i can't think of ANYONE to help me though .. and anytime i bring up this idea a few people tell me they'd help out and im like .. no seriously .. i WILL ask you for help .. u best help!!

third thing-a-ma-jig: my room is a mess .. it looks like my parents have been accumulating their 100 year old furniture that does NOT match or feel zen-like in any manner and pile it into my room .. i have a desk fullllll of STUFF .. mama runs around the globe and buys a bunch of stuff that she then puts onto this desk .. old "new" perfumes that she saves for occassions that are still wrapped in their plastic .. old "new" medicine you cant find here that is almost expired because no one used it .. old "new" chocolate that has that white layer of oldness on it when u open it up .. its a mess .. i then have a cupboardy thingy thats full of STUFF too .. i have wallets, belts, hair accessories from back in the day .. honestly .. at least stuff that is 10 years old .. its horrible .. my clothes are overflowing my closet cuz theres no order in my room .. i hate it .. i hate my ugly red couch .. i hate my ugly plain bed .. i hateeeeeeeeeeee that stupid desk .. i hateeeeeeeeeee that stupid cupboard .. i need oprah to help me

fourth thing-a-ma-jig: no need to go into detail .. the underlying theme is that im just lazy

fifth thing-a-ma-jig: no comment (@_@)

sixth thing-a-ma-jig: i need some major excitement in my life .. but i keep cramming ideas into my little red moleskin diary (used by the likes of Oscar Wilde).. and now i bought a black moleskin book for the event .. something is missing .. i dont know what though .. maybe im still broken up about the fact that i missed House Bunny in the cinema :(

seventh thing-a-ma-jig: dont worry .. my nails are undercontrol cuz i have a 5:30 appointment in the salon

im sure there's more .. ill update u ..

sincerely,

depressed with a gun

I Need Pills

Both J and God know very well that I am a neat freak .. ignore my messy room .. but when it comes down to it .. i have to have my work organized .. so one of the things i DONT do .. is doodle .. i dont understand it .. why would u do that to yourself? not only do i not doodle .. i will never write secret messages in my notebook .. if i really want to write u something .. i will rip off the last page of the notebook (or if the notebook has sections .. i will make sure i rip off one page of every section before i rip off anymore from the same section)

so today when i was at one of my meetings .. my coworker (yes .. the personal-space-intruder) moved closer to me and wrote on my purposal "at 2:00" ..

i was shocked

HOW DARE U?? at 2:00?? thats what u ruined my clean page for?? thats not even pencil!! thats a pen!! u permanently ruined the purposal for me cuz u wanted to say "at 2:00" ?? u can put up 2 fingers and ill know u mean at 2:00 .. or u can whisper .. 2 .. or u can email me back on my blackberry .. or u can message me .. or u can bbm me .. or u can write on ur f***ing purposal .. why mine?

so i looked at her .. closed my purposal and put it aside (we all know its ruined .. it might as well go into the bin) and said .. O ... K ... thats what i said .. O ... K ... which we all knew was more like .. get the fuzz of my papers!!!

so ive come to the conclusion that i need pills ..

hmphs .. doodling .. so stupid

Ortho-darLing

Let me start off by saying that I love my dentist!

And now let me rewind .. Issue #2: Needles, Dentists, Smell of Dentist's Office, Waiting Rooms, Hovering People

And now .. I will draw the link between the opposing statements I just made:

Ever since I was a kid I've hatedddd brushing my teeth .. not many people know this about me for some reason .. I do it once .. in the morning .. and thats it .. I find it a waste of my time .. I'm not dirty or anything .. atkaysal .. i don't have a better excuse! so stop prying

i also love candy, chocolate, chips .. hence my last post (sidenote: my diet starts on Saturday! :D .. yay!) .. so generally these two factors go hand in hand for a healthy breeding ground for cavities ..

in Ramadan I was playing with my teeth and realized that one of my tooth was either chipped or had a small hole in it .. and it was a cavity .. i called to make an appointment and they gave me a maw3d for over a month later

so i left work early today and headed for the dentist's office .. i got there at exactly 2:00 and had to wait in their stupid waiting room ..

dgeegtain o my dentist pops out .. hes a canadian lebanese guy in his late 20s .. he's adorable! his office overlooks the Corniche and plays 70s music in the background (todays special waS: "and they called it puppy loveeee") he doesn't speak arabic very well so i fit right in

we chit-chatted for a bit and he asked me if this was a general check up .. so i told him im pretty sure i have a few cavities in there .. he checks and he's right .. then he starts laughing and asks if i'm "mentally ready for it"

last time i went to the dentist my mum had told me it was just a check up and i wouldn't need a shot .. so i went .. not expecting any kind of pain .. i came all the way from uni (2 hr. drive) so i could go cuz i had a chipped filling .. and i sit down and he tells me he has to take out the filling and put a new one back in .. so i said ok .. he then takes out his equipment and in between them i see a shot .. without even knowing it .. i started crying .. no .. im lying .. it was BAWLING .. and he's like .. "Whats wrong?? Oh no .. is everything ok?" .. and me .. "MAMA TOLD ME THERES NO SHOT!!" .. mind u .. i was at the tender age of 21 ..

so anyways .. i told him i was ready .. bas i need banj gabl ilbanj .. and he LOVED IT!! it seemed as if he wanted to tattoo it to himself or something ..

so now the party began .. he put the strawberry tasting banj in my mouth and told me to tell me when it was numb .. i was quite for about 10 mins .. and he's like .. its not ready? and i was like .. not yet!!! .. another 5 mins .. and he's like .. well? and i was like .. ahh .. i think u missed it .. add more of the strawberry .. so he did and then pushed the shot in .. here is a list of the things i was thinking about:

1. should i keep my eyes open? or closed? do i usually open my eyes? its weird though cuz i dont know what to look at .. i dont wanna be looking at him cuz thats just awkward! i dont wanna be looking at the nurse cuz itll look like im pleaing for help and she has nothing to do with it .. staring at the light hurts my eyes .. lemme close my eyes ..
   
2. does this hurt me? i dont understand .. why isnt this hurting me? if its not hurting me .. why do i have my eyes closed this hard? why are my nails digging into my palms? why are my legs stiffly elevated?
3. i need my lipbalm .. i would kill to have my lipbalm .. do they really not think that i need lipbalm at this moment? because my tongue is so dry that i cant even lick my lips which are about to rip of dry-dom .. hmm .. could they rip?
4. the arm rests are so much more cushiony than i remember .. OH SHIT! THATS HIS LEG!!! .. i hope he didnt notice (>_<)

so i got my teeth done .. yay! :)

and i loveeee my ortho-darling

Giselle Me Please

So .. I just read Dandoon's post about her resolutions! *Good luck :D* and I read it at a good time .. last week I made an appointment at a dietician here .. Its a program where they send you your meals so you dont have to worry about the calories or how the food is cooked or whatever .. the only thing you do .. is EAT .. they will be sending me 3 meals a day along with 2 snacks .. this means that I wont be ordering a quesidella explosion salad from chilis anymore (cuz who am I kidding?? just cuz it says salad doesnt mean its healthy) .. so everyone is going to know at one point or another that I am on a diet ..



I've never remembered a time where I wasn't either on or getting a diet .. I always lose the weight .. then within a month of compliments and gorgeously fitting jeans .. I gain it back .. plus some ..



Why do I want to lose the weight now? Everyone seems to want to lose the weight for this person's wedding .. or to get married .. well for me .. its everything .. I have jeans that would look THAT much hotter if I lost a few here and there .. my cousin's wedding is coming up and my entireeee familia has been on a diet since ramadan .. I don't really want to get married at this very moment but it would be nice to feel better about myself ..



Don't get me wrong .. im not one of those who obsess over my weight .. Let me make one thing straight .. I'm hot .. If I lost 20 kgs or if I gained 20 .. I've been blessed with a ridiculous amount of self-confidence that is harmful to my health .. bas im not 5agaga .. i dont adore myself like one of my darrrrrrling friends .. ahem ahem .. J?? but I feel that I'm ok with myself and any point of my life



So other day I was a friend's birthday celebration (this is the ONLY person i'll allow to celebrate their birthday in my birthmonth) and one of the girls rushed up to me saying how in love with my style she was .. so I was flattered and all .. and then she mentioned how I have a striking resemblance to giselle bundchen ..



I



AM



OBSESSED



WITH



GISELLE



So I overexcitedly responded .. REALLY!!!! She's like ya!! your hair and your face!! that was a polite way of her saying that I'm fat ..



So please .. if you see me eating something besides the boxed items that are delivered to my door .. slap me ..



I'm gonna look like Giselle in a month .. you wait and see .. (crossing my fingers)



mhmmm



and now the only thing im worried about is how I'm gonna finish all the junk in my office drawer .. I dont share .. but i cant possiblyyyyy eat a whole bag of Reeses Pieces M&Ms, Laffy Taffy, Crunch, Baby Ruth, Seaweed Rice Crackers (chftoo kaif ana healthy?? :p) ..

Is it Really the Thought That Counts?

For those of you who don't know me .. I celebrate my birthday the entire month of October .. Itsblatantly rude of me to completely disregard any other occasion of this month .. but I don't care cuz I think that another full year of my existence is something for people to acknowledge or better yet appreciate the fact that I am in their lives .. Call me self conceited .. Call me 5agaga .. Call me Princess H .. I dont care .. its what i do and what i will keep doing ..

Since the blissful month of October is among us that means that it is my birth-month .. this brings me to discuss an issue i am sure we all face ..

gifts

There is a very small number of people who buy me gifts that i actually like .. why, might you ask? because i tell them what i want .. its just easier this way and i dont care if a gift is meant to be a surprise .. who made that rule up?? anywhooooos .. my point is why should i be forced to wear or admire a gift i dont like? because the person who bought it has no taste whatsoever? that my friends shouldnt be my problem ..

that is why i came up with my genius policy of "give me the gift and i'll open it when im alone" .. ana majamil .. if i dont like the gift .. it showssss .. my mouth says "Ohhhhh .. thank you!! I love it .. seriously! How did you know this is what I wanted? Tslmeen 7bibtiiii .. ta3abti roo7ch walla!!" BUT my face says .. "Ur joking right? This .. is .. HIDEOUS!!"

So yesterday i had to open a gift from a realllllly close friend of mine that is disabled when it comes to gift-giving .. it was jewelery .. that looked like it was made for a 12 year old girl .. i WISH i was a 12 year old girl .. but i'm not :( .. so don't buy me that! i had to open it in front of my friend and she was sooooo excited to see what i thought of it .. the minute i opened it i thought .. OH GOD NO!!! WHYYYYYYYY??? but proceeded to put it on and pretend to be shocked at how they nailed my taste down to the colour and style ..

moral of today's post: ask me what I want for my bday .. dont assume (because it will make an ASS out of U and ME) i'll like what you give me .. cuz 90% of the time .. i wont .. its cruel world baby .. get with the program

Inconveniences of a Crowded Drawing Room

First off .. You can call me "H." :) I have always wanted to start a blog .. but really never had the time or patience of updating it .. but one of my weekly rituals has become religiously checking on one of my best friend's (I will probably refer to her constantly as J, iljooj, area-lover, umkisha :p) blogs to see how she's doing in L-town.

There was always something so appealing to me about it. Maybe the whole "Sex and the City"-esque feeling of typing my thoughts to a bunch of people I don't have to see.

One major thing you have to know about me is that I have major issues regarding the invasion of my personal space bubble. Good Lord.

How on Earth are people comfortable with someone standing UNCOMFORTABLY close to them? I was working on one of my many projects in the office and a co-worker of mine wanted to help me by fixing the format. So she leaned in so close behind me that she rested her head on my shoulder and kept grazing her cheek on me.

So it's not like I'm going to raise charges of sexual harassment, but I wanted to yell because she was so close to me. TAKE A STEP BACK!

As you keep reading you will find that I have a lot of issues. But I'm not crazy. Or am I?